The Blogger Daily

Me? Nephrite. aka Jade. Stone, first and foremost. Being human comes later. Nah. I'm just kidding. Film fanatic. Lit Major. Loves books (DUH). Dragon baby. Don't watch much TV. I want to live like its the last moon rising and scream, just like no one's there. Here, I might lose all of my control. Don't blame me later if you don't wanna heed my warning. sometimes I say things that don't come out right but its all in the heat of the moment. It's not too late for you to turn back now. In these Invisible Cities I will build by myself, I hope you will enjoy yourself. The city will be made of green and black. There will be no bed of roses, but a crown of thorns. There will be wilted red roses and drooping stalks of violets. There will be rainbows, but with no pots of gold. There will be more rain than sun, more tears than smiles. What? Did you think this was some kind of fairytale? Baby, wake up and smell the flowers. There are none. Where did the flowers go? I don't know. And then you will see the world through my eyes.

useless is useless.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Nephrite at 6:34:00 PM

i feel like a totally useless person today.
my arms are now aching from waving & directing people at the sundown.
i'm not complaining, its just a simple wrong place at the wrong time.
i practically dragged myself to school today for the presentation.
turns out chinghong's grp did a similar game as us except their's was the hell version, ours was heaven.
lol.

everyone was like fighting to go first.
we got to go 5th cuz wee wee had an appointment at the skin center.
my part of the presentation was pretty funny.
i didnt rehearse my speech so i was feeling pretty nervous and my blocked nose wasn't helping.
but when it came to the Q&A at the end, i ended up answering the prof alot.
i have no idea where the answers came from.
but i didnt wanna get the stunned look the other groups had.
thank god my brain was cooperative.
=)
still, ahmad n lynds did most of the work.
wee wee and i felt pretty bad abt it.
but honestly, i also feel relieved in a way...
cuz i haven't done a powerpoint or a report since JC.
HW111 had presentation too, but i only kinda covered my section and i'm rusty.
i'd probably freak if i had to do the report.
thanks a million guys!
i think we did a pretty good job overall.
i'm glad it's OVERRRR!
=D

anw, despite leaving class early, wee wee was almost late for his appointment.
why?
cuz he was "grinding" (a term for playing W.O.W - as wee wee corrected - real "MEN" play WOW, not dota says he. lol) and wasting time w/ me, rtcc (who came ALL THE WAY from Kembagan for class but skipped it anw), lynds, and david (wee wee's friend) @ the library (looks damn good w/o A.T's).
then while waiting for the bus to come, the guys talked lynds into coming w us to JP using her weakness ( BT).
poor girl had to go back to hall herself though.
lol.

i ran into joanna from IJC today.
another supertall girl.
yay, i don't feel too bad about growing now.
yea, i grew.
i'm abt 1.75m now.
crikey, eh?
and i heard this really horrid incident, involving another assholic guy.
and a betrayal by a good friend.
what is with the growing numbers of this kinda people anyway?
is it so fun to make someone else feel pain?
the closest to us hurt us most.
in one way i guess we can say that its BECAUSE they are close tts why it hurts more.
but.
if u are a close friend, why are u even doing sth to hurt your close friend?

in the end, karma solves almost everything and maintains balance i guess.
even if it isn't immediate.

i'm starting to feel a little more like my old, more optimistic self now.
the minute i start feeling less apathetic and think abt all this deep shit (to some it may seem utterly redundant), i know i'll probably be okay.
i just wish sometimes that i have someone to talk to 24/7.
and i wish someone would talk to me 24/7.
without judging
or w/o assuming before i explain.
or going "wtf" or "whats your problem"
i dunno how to rediscover old friendships.
sometimes i dunno if i can even trust.
not after what that asshole did in lit.
i go to facebook and i see how everyone n everything is changing and i wonder where i even stand in the eyes of some people.
but then, the closer they are to you, even if they don't treat you the same way as u treat them, the more it hurts when they pull away.
and then you have to find a plug to stopper the gap.
some people can do it easily, but i think many can't.
even if they pretend they can.
(no reference to anyone, please ppl, don't think too much =) )

hah.
i know that last paragraph isn't very cheerful.
but look at my previous entries man.
im in a better mood now or i wouldn't have bothered typing so damn much.
=)

i love you, people!
even if you don't love me.
haha
xD

btwn. "Made of Honor" is pretty darn good. =)
its similar to "My Best Friend's Wedding"