i'm feeling pretty annoyed right now.
argh.



-----------------------------------------------------------------

so come and dance, with me, my baby...
let's dance, till we, go crazy...
the night, is young, and so are we,
let's make love, and dance the night away!



went for the ballroom/ dancesport event ytd at OCC.
it was preety good, as always.
anna (my cousin) came, instead of jo, cuz she's having the chicken pox and refuses to step out of the house.
lol.
anna seems to want to learn everything from dancing to the violin but doesn't want to study anymore.
hmmm.
Am got admitted into the hospital AGAIN.
argh.
means, A.Rita is alone in the house but i can't bear going over to see her.
its painful.
maybe too painful.
i guess this is how it feels to watch someone once so colourful slowly fade away..


i missed an opportunity to work in coldside today!
i didnt even think i was working this afternoon can?
sheesh.
i am such an idiot srsly.

Labels: dancing, kazoku, shigoto

it was the roll of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing .....

ytd an old dermatologist walked in...
and bought THREE guitars in one shot. on impulse.
the cost of the two Goodalls and one Gibson was $21,600!
and he also offered help another customer pay for another guitar ...
who in the WORLD has that much money to play with?
we're not talking abt buying bonds here.
-_-
i know there are rich people in the world.
just never thought i'd see such a thing in such close proximity.
i was thinking WHOA, that amount of money can almost cover my entire university education.
although i suppose guitars can also be seen as a form of investment...
its like wine... the older, the rarer, the better.
(lynds, tt guy is also eyeing the martin 12-string tt killed our fingers)


i am so behind in studying for the JLPT -__-
i think i am not going to be ready in time.
but i think i'll take the test anyway.
i mean, i should study it for free rather than pay to take it outside.
i'd rather take some art/design class or sth.


i can't bear to leave n.y.d.c cuz of my buddies.
but i can't bear to leave gg cuz of the friendly customers.
lol.
crazy?



went out w peona(fiona) ytd.
banana guess who we had dinner with?
SEAN!!
your hunky guy.
hahahahahahaha.
he works at NUM on the sly so seal ur lips for the moment.
haha.
peona n i will try and convince him to come on wedesday, so u can squeak throughout dinner.
hahahahahahaha!
oh!
and, i may not be able to make it for dinner after all.
=(

got my blue blouse for the A clan photoshoot.
tt leaves the vest.
hmmmm.
should i still get it?

Labels: The A List

today's FIONA'S BDAY!!!
as in the N.Y.D.C one..
lol.

work today was horrible.
the weather was so humid.
and the air con in coldside kept breaking down on n off.
no solace for anyone.

jane n audrey came by.
aaron too.
and i saw yiling from NSS bu ti guess she doesnt recognise me.
haha.
jo's fren shiyi from NSS came too.
oh well.


nashitah's mum asked is i want to take on another tuition job..
if i take it, either GG or N.Y.D.C has to go.
so which will it be?
hmmmm.....

i'm really tired.
update tml i think.
lots of funny stuff.
sara, anna, zhihui

my first day of work at N.Y.D.C was tues.
after so long.
worked with siew mai, gal, hair, shah, al, yiya, stan, lucas, matt(eee).
not bad for a start.
all the jokers around, guess who was the butt of it all?
lol.
oh, and Ms Tang from NSS came...
Jeffrey from A21 brought a dateeeee.

today was a totally different story.
hahaha!
ms S n banana COMPLETELY changes the scene!
i was so happy, but as usual, banana tries to kill my joy by making me the butt of jokes.
haha.
but MS S duly kept me entertained =)))
haha! and mark saw anna pull my apron strings when he walked past!
waiching came with her BF? i think? or some guy friend. lol

though both days still had screwed up customers.
earlier today, (wed) i spent at GG signing hundreds of memos.
and i got to restring a black fender and an epiphone before i rushed off.
=))

Labels: shigoto

banana asked who i was talking abt in that post.
its my mum?
she's kindergarten supervisor by day, teaches tuition once a week and works at an enrichment centre twice a week.
she really doesn't need to work so much anymore.
but she does it anyway.
but for all that i agonized in that entry.
i'm worse, i suppose? the difference between me and her is i need it.
i took on my third job ytd night.
so now i'm waitress, salesperson, tuition teacher?
i just hope all my friends'll understand.
i hope they'll accept me, and my current situation the way some of them said i understood them.
or was it all just hypocrisy?
or saying stuff like that for the sake of saying it?
sometimes it just makes a person wonder.
but whether they accept it or not.
i really have no choice.
falling sick and the special semester took away all the time for enjoyment.
or rather, because of the time lost, i can't afford to take breathers in between work days now.
mondays to fridays, most prob will be spent at n.y.
saturdays at the GG
and sunday morning at tuition.

oh.my.god.
or as i sometimes say, oh.our.god.
`yosh~ ganbatte !!!!!!!!!

Labels: when more than enough still isn't enough

finally its time for the DnD Main Committee 07/08 to have our photoshoot cum video taking....
Vincent wanted us all to be colour-coded and and dressed according to the theme of "Shanghai Nights"...
so i went home to dig for the samfoo blouse my mum bought a LONG time ago....
it was gold-ish-yellow (i was in the Pageant Co-ordinator group which was assigned to wear yellow)
but when i got home, i went into jo's room and got licked like crazy by the dog, Snoopy (which i totally forgot she was raising in her room), and worse, Snoops ran out of the room! oh no.
and i was sneezing my nose off as it was.
then i couldnt find the blouse ANYWHERE in the room. i panicked M.A.O.

i dropped off jill's birthday present so jo could take a look at it before wrapping and the dresses that jo wanted.
but i left the house w/o the blouse thinking of how screwed i was..
i called jo, then she said, "check dad's cupboard!"
i was like pffft.
but i went back anw.
and sure enough it was in his cupboard!
why would it be in there?
cuz my sisters didnt want to keep it in their cupboard.
irony: the blouses, as i found out later, were actually meant for them to wear, meaning its totally theirs. second, what is my dad gonna do with the blouses?!
-whatever-

so i rushed down to CHIJMES for the shoot.
met up with eileen n derrick.
haha.
all the guys (except vince, who wore a huang fei hong get up) wore suspenders and newspaper boy hats! and eileen too.
sally, shuying(ex-hall queen), and guen wore rented victorian dresses, and looked like princesses in the making. lol.
hweeleng, eliz, wai hing n i wore chinese-styled blouses/dress.
out of the 4 PCs, only leng and i were there. but hell, we had some fun making the video.
i even helped derick n eileen come up with theirs.
haha.
all in all it was a pretty fun day.
we argued abt whether eggs split to form twins, gang fights, etc. of course there was gossip too.
lol.

you're poor and you work your behind off for money
but all that complaining is just total baloney
why? cause you lend and you lend and you lend
saying you're giving a friend a helping hand.

after the paper xnl, me, and lynds met up with rtcc.
who drove us to JP for lunch...
had pizza hut...
then headed to SUntec for the PC fair....
rtcc's other friends came along.....

ROUND 1:

it was DAMN DAMN DAMN funny in the car...
the guys decided i should sit in the front cuz my legs are long...SO nice of them right..
lol.
then the 3 guys stuffed themselves in the centre row whilst the two poor girls had to sit at the back...
then the 3 wanted to put on their seat belts... except.
they couldn't find the right "buckles".
what happened?
rtcc actually took off his own seat belt and turned round in his seat to PUT ON THE SEAT BELT FOR xnl!!
hello! a grown guy putting on a seat belt for another grown guy...
it was like some parody of a family outing gone wrong.
srsly. i was damn amused.
then the guys started punning on the word "hole"(its wad they called the buckles) and kept saying rtcc keep changing holes / couldnt decide which hole he wanted etcetc; with ALL the sexual connotations... -_-
then eric cracked a joke, a super lame one...
telling the another guy "ay, u should give her a bra, then liddat u can support her!"
all of us were -_______- zomg....

ROUND II: @ the convention centre

met up with rtcc's friend, gabriel.
ZzZzz....
we walked past a guy trying to promote external hard drives....
he asked in general, "sorry, what model are you looking for?"
Gabe(loudly): "oh, i'm here to find a girlfriend!"
(we all broke out in guffawing)
salesman (grinning): "sorry i don't think we sell that here...lol"
ZOMGGGGGG.
i was cringing inwardly till my intestines felt like a hairball.
-_-
i was shocked/surprised/amused/embarrassed/exasperated.
sheesh....
he has one heck of a sense of humour.
See-rye-ous-ly.
its heart-attack level.
...comes outta nowhere.....hits you like a one tonne truck.....doesn't go away (why? it replays in your mind like those bloopers lol)
egad!

Got Tagged by Anna who got Tagged by Weel.....


Hello, my name is:
Jade/ Nephrite (same thing)

When I’m nervous:
...I pick at my nails, my palms sweat, sometimes i give myself a headache/feel nauseous...lol

The last song I listened to was:
Planetarium, but A Lack of Color's stuck in my head...haha

If I were to get married right now the best person would be:
er....? i don't have anyone in mind....ooh. maybe Joo Ji Hoon...he's tall enough for me. lol...
or maybe Shia LaBeouf?

By this time next year I’ll be:
I'll be doing the same thing as this summer, working M.A.O.
I'm NEVER EVER taking special semester again, if i can. lol.
exams during the summer break is too much of a torture. srsly. (:

My middle name is:
laughing gas...hahahahahahaha

What was i doing this Morning:
dragging myself outta bed, preparing for my exams, smsing Jillene Chen

Last night I was talking to:
My Mum <3 , xnl, Mark (smsing)

If I was an animal I’d be:
A Cat? I'd like to kill myself 8 different ways then enjoy the 9th. lol. i love the way they can leap off high places but never get hurt.

Next monday night I’ll be:
Working, probably. Then coming home to rot. Boring, i know.

My heart is:
aching. YOUR HEAD (anna i know u were thinking "so typical" but too bad. haha). My heart is longing for.......chocolate and happiness that comes with.

Do you have low self-esteem?
I don't think so? but srsly, but who doesn't doubt themselves every once in a while? there's always something you're unhappy about. for me? i feel unsure every time i meet new people though my friends always assure me i connect well with people.

Do you get depressed about things?
Depressed 24/7? No way Jose! but i do get affected by what people (esp my friends and family think), and when someone i trust does something big. i get affected by changes although i don't show it. Ironically i get depressed mostly when other people are depressed; kinda like, if my friends are not happy, i'm not happy. i'm the kinda person who'll cry along with you when you're sad.

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
hmmm. most of the time? lol. other times i have "fat" days or "i-wanna-be-invisible" days (when i wear my specs, you'll know)

Describe your hair:
long? with what my peeps call "emo fringe"...used to be str8 but now its wavy from the layering. haha

Were you a strange child?
No. ? is it strange for a young girl to like spiderman instead of watching carebears? or for a primary school kid to think about death? its subjective man.

Are you scared of growing old?
haha. i'm not afraid of getting old; some ppl tell me i don't look 20 yet, although i'm halfway to 21.
after 20 yrs worth of growing, what IS old?

Own any pets?
not now... but i used to have or had, rabbits, dogs, cats, ducks, mice, hamsters, chicks and fish.

Do you have a license?
NO. lol. wad's the point if i ain't gotta car? or a vespa?

Ever been thrown out of a bar?
hell no! haha. i can't even hold my alcohol properly. haha -thinks abt all the shirley temples-

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
i like both! i'm never bored. -thinks abt camps in sec 3 n J1-

favorite season?
autumn or winter. heheh. i like cold weather =))) -thinks abt the UK trip and drools-

Do you like walking in the rain?
yes! till i become a "luo tang ji" or prune-y

Do you like thunderstorms?
haha. when i'm indoors =) though the thunder can shock me some. -jade thinks of mashed potatoes in cold weather and sighs =) -

Are you a vegetarian?
no....but if someone told me i had to become one for the rest of my life, i don't have a problem with it either. love my veggies

What can you eat forever?
chocolate, and....ice cream....and....BEARD PAPA (the creampuffs) yum yum =) oh... and spag bolo hahahahha.

What is your favorite dessert?
hmmm.... honeydew sago, black sesame tang yuan, mango pudding, ice cream.....cake? c'mon, feel the sugar rush!

What is your relation with the last person who gave you a comment?
Anna Lim. one of the 6 Partners in Crime @ N.Y.D.C Heeren muahahahaha -jade flashes her irritating mega watt grin at anna-

What happened at 1:00 am today?
was watching HYD Season 1 with my mum. haha. =)))

-------end.

oh crikey!!!
i just realised i haven't blogged abt the BBQ.

=(

girls, i promise i will aft my darn paper ends.
CPE 804: FROM PONG TO WARCRAFT
is KILLING me SLOWLY.
curses and damnation.


and i'm in NO MOOD to mug for it.

omg.
i went to the supermarket to get some stuff for tiffany's (the little kid staying @ home w me) birthday and there were some complete IDIOTS i tell you. IDIOTS.
i was juggling the basket with the groceries in it, my lap top in my left hand and my bag slung across my shoulders and the stupid aunties were so bloody brainless.
the shelves are so close tgt n allow minimal human traffic and they couldn't even wait for me to move out of the row so they can enter. what they did was
1. say excuse me over and over in the space of 1 second expecting me to be able to disappear;
2. push their way through.
what happened?
they knocked the basket i was holding, which knocked into the shelf holding the vinegar and the bottles all toppled but thank heavens it remained on the shelves instead of toppling all over the floor.
she went like "orh hor"
i was like, "can't you just HOLD ON???"
i was THIS CLOSE to adding "you dumb f***" but no.
i'm not abt to sink to her stupid, brainless, vegetated, perambulating nitwit shit of a level.
her daughter was no better.
and there was this other irritating auntie who kept walking past me and everytime she did it she'd knock me into the shelf behind or sth.
what is WITH these people??????!!!!
______________________________________________________

Labels: dumb people in supermarkets

i got my results back.



i so can sit in one corner and give off an aura as black as death.
or emo and make everyone as depressed as i feel.
there is not one inch of mirth left in my veins.






one whole point got knocked off my GPA.
this is the SHITS.

here are two excerpts from Mary Wollstonecraft's "A Vindication of the Rights of Women."

"One cause of this barren blooming i attribute to a false system of education, gathered from the books written on this subject by men who, considering females as women rather than human creatures, have been more anxious to make them alluring mistresses rather than affectionate wives and rational mothers; and the understanding of the sex has been so bubbled by this spacious homage, that the civilized women of the present century, with a few exceptions, are only anxious to inspire love, when they ought to cherish a nobler ambition, and by theor abilities and virtues exact respect."

"Women are, in fact, so much degraded by mistaken notions of female excellence, that i do not mean to add a paradox when i assert, that this artificial weakness produces a propensity to tyrannize, and gives birth to cunning, the natural opponent of strength, which leads them to play off those comntemptible infantile airs that undermine esteem even whilst they excite desire."



what i like about her work?
she criticizes men for treating women like animals with no brains but at the same time she reproaches women for allowing themselves to be treated this way.


the boredom i feel with nothing to do
the indecision i have when i know not what to do
the sun rises and the sun sets,
the earth continues to spin
yet when 365 days come and pass
i feel nothing
no sadness, or happiness,
about what will pass, and fade,
into the yester-year.

i woke up to a beautiful shower this morning.
haha
it was RAINING.
i LOVE it.
hahaha.
my head feels blurry too though.
sucky feeling, srsly.

i wonder if i'm being used as a boredom buster again.
i'm not quite sure what to feel

i feel like a totally useless person today.
my arms are now aching from waving & directing people at the sundown.
i'm not complaining, its just a simple wrong place at the wrong time.
i practically dragged myself to school today for the presentation.
turns out chinghong's grp did a similar game as us except their's was the hell version, ours was heaven.
lol.

everyone was like fighting to go first.
we got to go 5th cuz wee wee had an appointment at the skin center.
my part of the presentation was pretty funny.
i didnt rehearse my speech so i was feeling pretty nervous and my blocked nose wasn't helping.
but when it came to the Q&A at the end, i ended up answering the prof alot.
i have no idea where the answers came from.
but i didnt wanna get the stunned look the other groups had.
thank god my brain was cooperative.
=)
still, ahmad n lynds did most of the work.
wee wee and i felt pretty bad abt it.
but honestly, i also feel relieved in a way...
cuz i haven't done a powerpoint or a report since JC.
HW111 had presentation too, but i only kinda covered my section and i'm rusty.
i'd probably freak if i had to do the report.
thanks a million guys!
i think we did a pretty good job overall.
i'm glad it's OVERRRR!
=D

anw, despite leaving class early, wee wee was almost late for his appointment.
why?
cuz he was "grinding" (a term for playing W.O.W - as wee wee corrected - real "MEN" play WOW, not dota says he. lol) and wasting time w/ me, rtcc (who came ALL THE WAY from Kembagan for class but skipped it anw), lynds, and david (wee wee's friend) @ the library (looks damn good w/o A.T's).
then while waiting for the bus to come, the guys talked lynds into coming w us to JP using her weakness ( BT).
poor girl had to go back to hall herself though.
lol.

i ran into joanna from IJC today.
another supertall girl.
yay, i don't feel too bad about growing now.
yea, i grew.
i'm abt 1.75m now.
crikey, eh?
and i heard this really horrid incident, involving another assholic guy.
and a betrayal by a good friend.
what is with the growing numbers of this kinda people anyway?
is it so fun to make someone else feel pain?
the closest to us hurt us most.
in one way i guess we can say that its BECAUSE they are close tts why it hurts more.
but.
if u are a close friend, why are u even doing sth to hurt your close friend?


in the end, karma solves almost everything and maintains balance i guess.
even if it isn't immediate.






i'm starting to feel a little more like my old, more optimistic self now.
the minute i start feeling less apathetic and think abt all this deep shit (to some it may seem utterly redundant), i know i'll probably be okay.
i just wish sometimes that i have someone to talk to 24/7.
and i wish someone would talk to me 24/7.
without judging
or w/o assuming before i explain.
or going "wtf" or "whats your problem"
i dunno how to rediscover old friendships.
sometimes i dunno if i can even trust.
not after what that asshole did in lit.
i go to facebook and i see how everyone n everything is changing and i wonder where i even stand in the eyes of some people.
but then, the closer they are to you, even if they don't treat you the same way as u treat them, the more it hurts when they pull away.
and then you have to find a plug to stopper the gap.
some people can do it easily, but i think many can't.
even if they pretend they can.
(no reference to anyone, please ppl, don't think too much =) )

hah.
i know that last paragraph isn't very cheerful.
but look at my previous entries man.
im in a better mood now or i wouldn't have bothered typing so damn much.
=)

i love you, people!
even if you don't love me.
haha
xD





btwn. "Made of Honor" is pretty darn good. =)
its similar to "My Best Friend's Wedding"

ok.
a month's worth of irritation has built up.
wrath.
fury.
anger.
annoyance.
grievance.
aggravation.
agitation.
pain.

i think we should be less critical.
of themselves.
of others.
of their loved ones.
like tt song (i can't rmb which) says, we only hurt the ones we really love.
i wonder why's that.
so everyone should be happy someone hurt them cuz it shows they love us?

i think everyone should not jump into conclusions too quickly.
but.
pretending to not see what the truth is doesnt really help either.
imo.



there is someone driving me to the brink of confusion right now.
-________-
and i don't quite know how to react to it.
sometimes i feel like some idiot.
thne again mayb its cuz once bitten, twice shy.
oh well.

the sundown marathon was waywayway worse than the standard chartered one.
i was road marshal this time.
even though my post was at the bridge, i had to stand at the crossroads.
cuz the runners kept getting confused.
though i think if they all were super focused there'd be sth unnatural.
lol.
i was standing at the 34km mark, or thereabout.
i was alone and i got pretty shocked when this guy kept puking water over and over.
turns out he had dengue fever the previous week and haven't recovered but ran anw.
thats crazy man.
and i actually got told off by the runners for directing them to shelter.
er, sorry, but i don't wanna get struck by lightning and i'm recovering from a cold so i don't wanna have to spend another week in bed.
and.
i personally don't think i could bear if some runner collasped in front of me.
but instead i got told off for not doing my job, for not being human etcetc.
i know i shouldnt be affected but argh.

i saw.....
- weel - IJC
- eugene
- chow chee chong - Hall 8
- calvin - IJC
- joash - IJC
- jalilah (i think?) - NSS, IJC

some ppl looked familiar... but i wasnt sure if i knew them so..

ppl who ran but i didn't see....
- Jillene
- Jeremy