went to timbre on the 30th with the 43 gang tt day...
it was....FUNNY, as lyndsey would also probably say.
i dunno la.
supper was even FUNNIER.
first time i finished a heineken.
lol.

it was rowdy but how should i put this?
may be its my fate to have guy friends who always make me wait.
=)
this isnt the first time but yea.
whichever way u put it.
miscommunication la, thinking tt because they live next door to the meeting place they end up miscalculating the time etc etc.
is it because of familiarity or is it because i have the 'please do what you want' written all over my face.
oh well.
whatever makes them happy.
the ones who'll be stuck waiting for late girls wont be me anw.


i think im starting to accept the fact that people change and that after certain things or incidents that happen, they never do treat you the same anymore.
may be i shouldnt take notice of it so much?
but its because i notice it tt makes it easy for me to pick up on different moods i think.

somehow it backfires.
as in.
when will i ever be able to differentiate when people want me to pick up on their feelings and when they dont?
and then i have to pretend like its ok they dont want to share, or dont want to hear the truth, despite them asking for it.
rtcc used to say "sharing is caring" but more and more now it doesnt seem as though it matters.
so what if i share?
no one can do anything.
and even though it feels good sharing at first the more i say it the more i know theres nth much i can do and that feeling sucks too.
and i think he's also becoming one of the people im tiring out.
even though people automatically say share, after while they cant handle it and it spoils EVERYTHING.
i become very very dependent on my confidantes and i think i eventually become an irritating parasite that never goes away.
so.
so what if people tell me their dilemmas?
the solutions they should take or the stuff they WANT TO HEAR and what they should hear are different.
i dont want to be the bringer of bad realities and the last time i did that what happened?
i got into an argument which never really recovered.
and i feel that loss.
so badly it hurts.
but i cant say anything.
because he wouldnt understand.
i've tried, though maybe in the wrong way.
but either it leads to another argument or .
so, again.
\i think this has been bugging me for a freaking long time but i had no idea how to put it in words.
till now.
xnl i noe you think i think too much and i admit i do. but only sometimes.
i think if i were to not think too much abt what i say or do, i'd hurt someone else with my bluntness.
and so i have to think.
or, i can really jus start getting all dreamy eyed and not say anything abt anything.
and space out.
or sth.
ahks.
not like what i think makes a difference now anw.
even if things turn sour, i still have all the messages in my phone.
that, i'll never delete.