The Blogger Daily

i need to run, far away, i need to take a holiday

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Nephrite at 1:20:00 AM

PISCES
There are many ways to connect with someone you want to build a relationship with. Most of your attention has probably gone into looking good and creating sparks ... but the truth is, there are many different routes that can provide a much deeper and more rewarding connection. Today, try to use humor, intellect or your political philosophy in a new way with this special person. These areas of your life could help everything come together in a more satisfying way.

AQUARIUS:
One thing is for sure today -- you are not going to be bored! But that doesn't necessarily mean that you day will be jam-packed with fun activities, engrossing projects or interesting adventures. Right now, your brain is in a very receptive phase, and will be able to find something to keep itself occupied nicely. Even if you're stuck on a plane all day, you'll be content and smiling. This is a good day to think through complex ideas and formulate plans for the future.
________________________________________________________
pisces is crap today

SATURDAY NIGHT 27th Oct:

just cam back from work.
did the 3 to 11 shift.
i worked from the most horrid hour of the day.
glad jills taking my shift tml.
though i like opening shift rather than closing.
oh well.
anw.
i only found out we had to dress up ytd NIGHT.
then i was like, whoa.
what the HELL am i gna wear?
i only have white at home and white is really inconvenient to wear when it comes to waitressing.
and most of my blacks were in hall.
so what did i do?

borrow mum's shirt..
borrowed her lip liner and eye liner.
and became a "victim" of the two vampires at work (anba n amber).
i had red and black lined eyes and two black tear drops running down my right cheek.
two red spots on the left side of my neck.
haha!
a minion of the dark.
nicholas said i should have dressed in white cuz my personality doesnt fit hell.
haha.
true enough.
i kept smiling.
i mean, and angel of darkness so DOES NOT smile.
haha.
wad the hell.
in the end i also wore Nadine's dark purple/black wings which were ENORMOUS and jammed up the runner's station (yes, of ALL the positions, i was cold side runner) and so i was the malcontent in the "heavenly side"

THOSE IN HEAVEN:
- Susanti: Cashier, white shorts, sleeveless blouse, translucent butterfly wings
- Amanda: Coldside runner w/ me, nurse uniform, white stockings and all.
- Joyce: white sweater, shorts, butterfly wings which were later abandoned.
- Geraldine: white tube dress, heels, black wings, host.
- Nick: white polo tee -_-
- Shizuko: devilish angel, white dress with devils horns. lol.

THOSE in HELL aka hotside:
- Yiya: Pirate? Cashier
- Anba: Count Dracula
- Amber: Vampire
- Cass: Nurse, Host, goth?
- Pauline: haha. freak of nature.
- Zul: Clown from hell, like in "IT"
- Zoee: Zombie
hahahahaha...

tips were good today.
=) yay.
________________________________________________________

FRIDAY 26th Oct:
I’m sitting in this cold, quiet room with 3 double seaters.
I am facing a cream coloured wall, the carpeted floor is clean, with brown, orange and green patterns on it.
There’s calm, peaceful music playing the background, which makes it all the more disturbing.
What goes on in this cold place is anything but calm, or perhaps it is just mirroring the calm on the peoples’ faces, the people who come here all don masks, serene and at peace. They come forth to make peace…. By breaking up.
The music grinds on my nerves and plug in to my mp3, trying to bring some reality back in check.
But the reality of it all bothers me some and I can’t stop the droplet that leaks from the corner of my eye.
I catch it before it rolls further.
And I recall what has just been said within these two hours.

everything that has came and passed in these 10 years was dragged up again
it was tiring.
and painful.
and the complications i had from sec sch was dragged up again when he asked why i didnt mind being separated.
why does he think i wanna stay in hall?
there are so many reasons.
uncle jud asked me to get a moe scholarship.
he n dad arent even thinking abt my interests.
taking the money would mean im tied for 5 years after i graduate.
and now tt dad is taking custody of the three of us, he's gonna get all the money, meaning if he doesnt spend it on my education, where is the money going to?

and yes, he is taking custody.
my mum has decided she needs a break.
and she thinks it'd be healthier for the three of us to be more familiar with our dad.
but whether she's more tired of us or cuz she genuinely thinks the exposure is good, i dun wanna go there.
i have my own guesses.
as for my dad.
us means the money.
all that he has said in that cold cold room, i already know.
he wasnt keen on us and will never be.
and now.
my mum says she may request to keep me so she can apply for a new flat under my name.
so.
i was right from the start.
we are like objects.
i used to see us as ping pong balls.
but i realise now its more like basketball or netball.
control of us = to control of the game.
the game is the money.
and the players are my parents.
the balls are us.
the points is the money they get.

the Man also said sth others have said.
i LOOK like my DAD the MOST.
but my CHARACTER is a mirror of my MUM's.
except for the pride thing.
that is all dad.
and the scholar in me is also dad.
the artsy is mum.
ultimately I AM A MUTANT.
i feel mutated.
now do u get it rtcc?
sry for that random message that day.
must've thought i was mental. haha.

i was dying to tell my usual confidante.
but right now i have lost my faith.
i dun feel like confiding in u anymore.
theres a wall.
and it isnt me.
half the time i feel like a sub.
as for the other half.
i've tried talking and u dun seem the least bit interested.
until i show u my black face.
but by the time i evolve in to a black faced freak i no longer have the appetite to speak.
i let the emotions bloom on my face.
and keep quiet.
im disappointed u know.
never thought it'd be like this.

i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno.