i died during jap class ytd.
dunno what the hell happened.
i sneezed n sneezed so bad i could barely hear anything my sensei was saying.
plus.
it was embarrassing.
hardly anyhting went in too.
my katakana SUCKS.

ok anna, weel, sara, jillene.
dont sigh in exasperation ok.
im stuck in ppls problems again.
but im not here to complain.
haha.
its more of a update?
yup.
im kinda glad ppl talk to me.
so i noe what is gg on with them.
so tt they will feel they ARE being heard.
sometimes....
the best way to save a life is just listening.
sympathizing.
understanding.
u dont even have to do anything.

im the kind of person tt likes silence now a days.
to brood.
to worry.
to think.
to find some inner peace tt will hopefully end the turmoil around me.
and im the kind of person tt likes ppl to show concern all the time.
not just when i appear infront of them with red eyes or with vulgarities bursting from my mouth like a tsunami.
i noe.
im actually quite demanding, arent i?
i can just so imagine the anonymous person gg 'u need to be more independent' blah blah.
haiz.
what to do.
what to do?

zen's booked in alr.
its like he's not even gone.
when i see the place in a mess i can imagine him in my head going 'what is this? how are u all gonna survive w/o me" yada yada yada.
and according to some as well as my own opinion.
without hab n zen, things in coldside dun seem to move as fast anymore.
but of course its also more quiet now.
no one yells at the waitside when we make mistakes.
but then.
i guess the yelling n nagging has their good points.
it means we get scared n thus are extra careful when taking orders. etc.

today.
i met BOTH the newbies.
one's better the other's worse.
haiz.
time will tell what kind of ppl they will be under pressure during the weekends.
i ended work today doing one of the most mundane jobs.
using up the water from the tumbler.
-_-
anna was banished to the hotside.
i have no idea when or why i refer to wait one as being 'banished' to.
but somehow the idea of the hotside kitchen somehow links with hell in my mind.


`went to THAT cafe today.
the sight of tofu boy made me feel sad/angry/irritated/wretched/betrayed
all over again.
its funny how the least u expect to see or dun wanna see a person the more u get to meet.