someone once commented to me that my blog entries were complete opposites of the emotions that i usually have outside this blog.
well, have a walk on the wild side with me.
humour me.
i'll show u the ugly side of me.
sometimes i think ppl know i can't possibly be happy all the time but since i ooze positivity they assume everything's a-okay.
but then i guess its also human nature to believe in wad they WANT to believe and not the truth, i suppose a type of defence mechanism.
honestly, i think they might be doing the smart thing even though i think it isnt the right thing.
but everyone's entitled to their own opinions.
just like the evil can be great theough it isnt good at all.
most of the i like cheering ppl up...
it gives me a sense of purpose.
sometimes they confide in me. and i begin to question my trustworthiness.
can i keep their secrets?
i certainly try.
i noe enough to noe that no one has no secrets.
everyone has some kind os skeleton in their closet that they try to cover up.
so sometimes i dont like being a confidante and now i understand why ppl try to mind their own snubs.
but temperament stays me.
i always have the urge to worry worry worry
worry about problems that do not directly concern me .
it sort of gives me strength i suppose, it somehow gives me purpose when i feel lost and self-piteous. it reminds me that i am not suffering alone.
but frankly, it also has its effect on me.
i cant stop thinking until i noe everything will be alright.
what is wrong with me?
why is it i contradict myself?
things were so much sweeter back when mary used to HAVE that little lamb and now its become a HAD thing.
just like my naivete.