The Blogger Daily

irony

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Nephrite at 7:02:00 PM

some people just keep pissing me off.
dun think i've forgotten about the past, cux i haven't.
i may have forgiven you, but i will always remember the tendencies you have.
im about forgiving, but never forgetting.
why can't i let go?
cux i noe better, once i've been burnt, there's a chance i'll be burnt again.
its better to be caught prepared then unprepared, savvy?

so tell me, are u hiding something from me?
i already noe u are. or mayb u were just oh-so dismissive of tt remark.
questioning frenship is a big thing and it shouldnt be treated lightly.
whether u were in a foul mood when u did it or not, the root of the question stems from somewhere, its not a whim.
im not as ignorant as not to see it.
im aware, oh, im very very aware.
i was stung i tell u. and u still do it.
u may not realise it, old habits die hard.

wad the hell did i sms for?
duh to get opinions.
cux obviously ur opinions count to me.
one didnt give me an opinion.
the other simply forgot abt me.
wow.
and here i thought i meant SOMETHING.
not a lot of things, but at least SOMETHING.
i was wrong wasn't i?
i wasn't ANYTHING. perhaps i wasnt anything to begin with.
so im just that insignificant?

well at least SOMEONE told me SOMETHING.
and it wasnt either of u.
cheers to the person: baby, u noe who u are.
and at least u didn't abandon me like some other ppl.
i would have cringed till i perished on the spot.

isn't it ironic tt its those who r close to u that makes u pissed easily, and hurt deeply?
and that sometimes someone unexpected may offer sancturary?
it must be something about caring too much.
if wad u want is a cold bitch, thats bloody hell wad i'll give u.
just don't go complaining that i'm being one, cux its wad u signed up for,
..................savvy?

DXO

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Nephrite at 2:18:00 PM

ok.

hmmm.
now i can say i'm not EXACTLY a virgin clubber?
cux i was IN a club,
it just tt there wasn't any CLUBBING to be done.
waha.
wad a bunch of crappp.

no la.
here's wad happened.
i attended the DXO concert thing that was held to raise funds for the straits times pocket money thing.
haha.
we were supposed to meet at marina at 5 but everyone was late, as usual.
haha.
so, weel,jas,2t,lyd n me headed down to the club tog.
rap ps-ed the lot of us...again.
haha.
both weel n me felt really really uncomfy in our get ups.
not to mention vulnerable, well tt was me, anyways.
didn't see as much innovians as i expected...
there were a few emcees? but i think carmen was besttt!
totally charismatic n natural.
most of the music was hoppin'!
haha.
of course, the best was SIDEWALK!!
i'm biased.
then again, im innovian. so there.

we left the concert a bit earlier then proceeded to the esplanade's roof.
major slacking area.
its like, u can spend all day stoning, pebbling, cloudwatching, dreaming there.
but we did leave and had garlic ice cream, introduced by touty.
haha.
the taste was unusual but i liked it cux im a garlic lover.
the rest had mixed feelings abt it.
haha.
and we made jason ask for a plastic of water.
his plan to sabo touty backfired.
cux girls alr planned to sabo him! haha.

backtrack.
friday was racial harmony day.
me n jane wore the malay costume- thanks a million to sharifah!!
haha.
we were the only ones in class.
but i wanted to wear slippers so i put up with the heat.
and changed out of it as soon as sch ended. lol.

retained

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Nephrite at 11:17:00 AM

im feelin' quite retained now....

but then, mayb its cux i just got my retainers!
lolx.

anewfoundpain.
owowow.
its uncomfy, makes my tongue stick out, makes me bite my lip and have slurred speech.
(if u can even call what i try to say speech, that is)

its so embarrassing can?
on the way back to the mrt there was this old man asking me how to get to the eye centre....IN CHINESE!
as if my chinese wasn't bacd enough, i said sth that sounded like " wo kant ni 'ai shi chi chi dou"
when i meant to say "wo kan ni hai shi zhi zhi zhou"
he must've thot i was some disabled kid for cryin' out loud!
-___-"

i think the presentation i gave ytd was pretty bad
was sweating like siao n keep going 'erm...erm...'
mark was also busy making reservoirs while jason was stepping in teo boats at one time.
lol.
poor poor raph.
but cheers to WEEL for the fantastic vids!

DANJ

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Nephrite at 11:42:00 PM

ytd was fun.
but i feel guilty now.
hehehe.

met up with 'tha (latisha) , 'dia, nutzi.
i was like 1/2hr late la.
so pai seh.
but forgot i had to hang my laundry so there.
haha.

anw.
we went to suntec, on 'tha's decision.
the decision making to us 4 is a huge chore cux we're all oh-so-fickle.
the punishment was awarded to 'tha cux she ps-ed us the last time.
hurhur.
but then, perhaps she didn't really make tt much of a choice since she was gonna meet her frens there in the first place, rite 'tha?
hahahahahaha.
we had indian food at a restaraunt called 'muthu's' which we found a tad bit funny.
why? its the name of our ex-operations manager in sec sch.
haha.
tho 'dia claimed she was full as did the rest of us, we managed to share yami yoghurt between the four of us.
we walked a bit, then 'tha went to get her tix.
babe, so much for ur new french name.
u dun even ans to it!!
haha
the whole world heard us 'cept you.
haha.

the three of us wanted to watch lake hse at grand cathay but it wasnt showing yet so we ended up at ben n jerrys n taking crazee pics with the posters.
like, lol.
anyways.
catch ya'll l8r~!

dropout?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Nephrite at 3:18:00 PM

is it just me or is it becoming a habit.
me = dropout?
again.
sheesh.

somehow its all coming back.
oh well.
i guess i can only blame myself.

ok, fellow j2s.
its all about us.
we do well, the school gets the credit
(whether they really helped us is another issue).
if we don't do well,
the credit all goes to us.
then again.
its not really "credit", is it?

ytd, fri, 14th july.
we ended sch at like, 1240 but hadta stayback till like 6plus to complete the whole stupid presentation thing.
fun? more like, NOT.
we didn't know crap.
and they want us to come back on our sch holiday to do a dry run.
faith in us? naught.
delegation was crap.
the ppl who knew wad to do for sth was overridden by someone who knew NOTHING and didn't do much of ANYTHING.
productivity? zilch.

i must admit i was pretty unproductive myself.
me, mark, haoren n serena were supposed to do the write-up on the river studies thing which eventually ended up being just me n mark.
wow.
bt we managed to complete it, after getting high and lame and i bet half of what i wrote was complete nonsense.
helping with the lifeskills section was much much more productive.
everyone contributed and we had fun recollecting some of the stuffs that happened there.
the remarks will be funny 4eva. i swear!
plus everyone agreed and cooperated on stuff.
isn't it ironic?
we were applying the life skills we were writing abt WHILE we were writing abt them.
haha.
-smirks-
we sO did it. hahaha.

tt is wad i have been doing a lot of lately.
inward smirking, scoffing, rebelling.
its not productive but it makes me feel better and allows be to smile n bear with shit thats happening.
i just realised its probably a good thing i can't be A psychologist because i cant even figure myself out.
i can totally imagine driving my patient crazy instead of making her sane.

ok. im talking abt the future.
which, at the moment, is pretty dim right abt now.
so. focus on the present?
im back to sighing in exasperation.
haizzzzzzz.

dun geddit

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Nephrite at 9:38:00 PM

i dun geddit.
i dun.
really really.
i don't GET IT.

as in.
wads with the teachers man?
the teachers themselves say they're ONLY gonna focus on the good ones and drop the bad.
and there goes the VP saying the teachers are doing everything in their power to help.
communication breakdown?

here's another joke. and i quote.
' the teachers are free of charge you noe'
no. i dont noe. and i dun think so!
we pay school fees every month. and, we need to share the teachers with our peers.
HELLO!
not to mention we got to put up with their moodswings and what not.
one even said its up to her mood.
and so it is.

want another one?
we don't study enuf.
hey, we're TRYING.
but would u take a GOOD look at the friggin LIBRARIA??
its packed by 5 pm and most of the rooms are not to be touched.
the canteen is to stuffy n noisy to study in.
but guess wad?
we have a huge hall many desks and chairs and many classrooms that you don't allow us to utilise.
so there.
is it totally us?
NOT!

how much anger can one feel towards her own family?
its burning and eating at me at the same time.
it hurts and makes me feel vengeful all at the same time.
hypocrisy. selfish-ness. double standards.
god.
everything is bothering me right now.

sth else?
i think a guy just tried to get fresh with me today.
why didnt i confront him?
too much hesitation and self doubt.
plus, he freaked me out.
shit u.
i hate u men, guys, boys.
wadever the age, you're a threat all the same.
suckers.

i am NOT pms-ing.

braces no more

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Nephrite at 1:54:00 PM

now u see 'em, now you don't.

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.
isn't it sad?

---my braces were removed on : 12/7/06 at 10.45am.

the dentist plucked 'em off with pliers.
then proceeded to make my gums bleed with this water spray thing.

then came the mold thang.
the toothpaste flavoured plaster with the metal template was shoved into my mouth,
one upper, one lower for a minute?
then with a sucking-plooping noise, out they came.
hurhur.

anways.
my teeth feel alien to me.
i keep running my tongue over them the way i did when i first put on braces.
so if u peeps see me running my tongue over my teeth constantly in sch,
don't get freaked. i am NOT mad, i just miss my braces is all.
haiz.

lets review the colours of rubber bands i had during the brace period.
individual:
- grey
- red
- blue

power chain:
- white
- pink
- purple
- fluorescent green
- green
- red
- green
- fluorescent orange
- light blue
- dark blue

my regret?
not having the chance to try black and look like i've got decaying teeth,
and not being able to try glow-in-the-dark (if they had it la).

awww mannn,
in loving memory of my braces,
31 August 2004 to 12 July 2006.
<3>

haha.
that was sO gay.
but i really miss 'em.
how much more intimate can u get?
they're in your mouth for god's sake.

my inner smile

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Nephrite at 9:48:00 PM

You gave me something
...................Like loving
And took me in so soon
You took my feelings
...................................from nothing
Came back at noon
Just meet me, I'm ready
To show myself to you

So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
(try to understand)
If I lose my patience

Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come and make your rule
And free me

isnt it funny

Monday, July 10, 2006

Nephrite at 9:06:00 PM

isn't it funny how everyone in singapore is somehow or the other labelled?
and even when there are attempts to remove labels,
the reputation still sticks?
but how did they get labelled in the first place?
ah hah.
that is the question.

im feeling quite philosophical today.
esp after finding out that some word history book describes 'jade' as a massive green mineral that was used to cure colic in spain.
wow.
that makes me feel so.....empowered.
NOT.

if you're stupid will u ever actually come to realise that you're stupid or does it take a smart person to think that they're stupid?
but if the smart person thinks he's stupid isn't that thought stupid in the first place?

oh man.
im driving myself insane.

....wait.
is that even possible?

malophobia

Nephrite at 4:11:00 PM

its me.
ok. that was a stupid thing to say.
who else if not me?
grr.

anways, i discovered something abt myself today.
i'm still not quite ove my malophobia.
thats a term for my phobia that i've been nursing, apparently, since p5?
something, somewhere along those lines.
sheesh.
i'm eighteen and at a strapping height of 172cm, i don't see why i shud still have this phobia but i have it anyways.

bummer.
anw, that whole chunk was meant for distraction.
the chow that im working and killing myself for is really my results.
just when i thot i could sink no lower, i sunk lower.
lower than the lowest.
like, low, low.
as in not even microscopic teeny weeny organisms can make me feel larger.
so that is what i have been reduced to.
floating in air.
cux OBVIOUSLY, thats the ONLY thing that appears to be IN my brain.
airhead would be the right term,
a term i HAVE NEVER EVER associated myself with.
geez.
from bookworm geek to airhead?
talk abt being a schitzo.

shit.
crap.
shi.
da bian.

haunting

Friday, July 07, 2006

Nephrite at 10:49:00 PM

no matter what song i get high on,
sing with that moment,
this one's always sitting at the back of my mind,
lingering like a wraith,
waiting till its called.

everytime i feel alone,
i can blame it on you,
and i do,
you got me like a loaded gun,
golden sun, and sky so blue
we both know, we can't change it,
but we both know, we'll just have to face it,
chaque fois que tu ton va,
je pretend que tu fa bien.

ok, mayb im feeling nostalgic and am imagining things because of the on off headache fever thing,
its like a switch and my body's the wire,
on complete overdrive.
don't get me wrong, i haven't been overworking myself,
just stressing out.
sheesh.
so un-useful.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Nephrite at 11:57:00 AM

thou shalt not cry.

this is my new motto.

keep up with the choice i made.
and bear with the consequences.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Nephrite at 1:48:00 PM

i'm having chicken rice as i blog
i decided to dedicate this entry to chicken rice.
haha.
i used to love it when i was younger then the taste of other delicious food lured me away.
haha.\
so now, this is the first time im eating it this yr..
haha.
though the thot of chicken repulses me sometimes.
though i mus say that even though inUK we had apple crumble i'm still not sick of it!
but as for sausages, chicken and sandwiches,
stay far far away!!

haha.
ytd we walked in orchard for a long long time.
too bad 'mama' couldnt come along.
he had to sit for his fmath paper while we snacked at swensens.
ohoh!
now i not only cannot find the ripcurl bag tt i wanted, but i also couldnt find the projectshop one either!
they must've had a clearance alr. humph.
i din get to see my giodano shorts bt even if i did im not sure if i'd buy it..
green green green.
black black black.

prelim one is over, like yay!
but wait, there's the second one coming up.
haiz.