Me? Nephrite. aka Jade. Stone, first and foremost. Being human comes later. Nah. I'm just kidding. Film fanatic. Lit Major. Loves books (DUH). Dragon baby.
Don't watch much TV. I want to live like its the last moon rising and scream, just like no one's there. Here, I might lose all of my control. Don't blame me later if you don't wanna heed my warning.
sometimes I say things that don't come out right but its all in the heat of the moment. It's not too late for you to turn back now. In these Invisible Cities I will build by myself,
I hope you will enjoy yourself. The city will be made of green and black. There will be no bed of roses, but a crown of thorns. There will be wilted red roses and drooping stalks of violets.
There will be rainbows, but with no pots of gold. There will be more rain than sun, more tears than smiles. What? Did you think this was some kind of fairytale? Baby, wake up and smell the flowers. There are none. Where did the flowers go? I don't know.
And then you will see the world through my eyes.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Nephrite at 10:04:00 PM
dear diary.
doesnt that sound teribly cliche?
haiz.
i've just come to terms with something today.
terms with what, exactly?
well, terms with the fact that i am desperately trying to run away from reality.
reality that i don't have a perfect family, perfect grades, perfect body, perfect face
well, perfect anything and everything, as much as i try to get everything done perfectly.
as in.
i would wrap and re-wrap my books to perfection, iron and re-iron my clothes at the sight of the tiniest wrinkle, re-write an entire essay if it was too messy for my liking.
how much longer can i actually do that?
and all i've been doing all these years is push my nose in the thickest storybook that i can find in the library, book after book, thinking that by submerging myself in fantasy everything would be ok.
i mean. what the hell.
it took a book for me to hide away and today, a book found me out.
i don't know if i wanted to be found.
do you know what the worst of it all is?
its the fact that i know i'll never be able to stop myself from this cycle.
the next time i see a book, im gonna hide again.
its like an addiction.
i cant peel my eyes away until im done.
i just cant.
and when the story is over, i feel despair.
my god, i sound like a freakin' lunatic.
what the hell am i supposed to do now?
but what can i do?
it takes my pain away.
its a lie.
a kiss with open eyes.
a false sense of accomplishment.
everytime i quit.
ravens gate and ark angel by anthony horowitz
checkmate by malorie blackman.
they're the bomb.
guess which one it was.
that brought me crashing back.
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