The Blogger Daily

eve.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Nephrite at 10:18:00 PM

one strong, monosyllabic word; controversial and provocative.

"why?"
a word i repeat n repeat over and over in my head.
a question i cant find an answer to.
the word that causes turmoil within me.

two words more.
"im upset".

three words here.
" i hate home".

and this is four.
" jade chen has died".
emotionally.

every year, every event.
without fail, catastrophe occurs.
i am sick n tired of this shit.
i used to love it, but now, i hate special occasions.
i hate it so so bad.
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

all this. makes me question my faith. wad i believe in.
or, wad i believe im trying to achieve.
we're broken. yes, physically.
but do we have to be broken mentally n emotionally?
do we?
is all of this pain necessary? is it?
and all im good at is cry cry cry. whine whine whine.

here's another strong monosyallbic word that has emotion however vulgar it is.
i dun like to use it but here it is.
fuck.

that word nv fails to evoke SOME kind of emotion no matter the age grp.
isnt tt just amazing?
sheesh.

today was celebration day.
lessons frm 8.10 to 10.10 but i got to leave early for dance.
managed to borrow a shirt frm weel. (u're a life-saver. seriously)
but then i kinda "died" during the actual performance?

1. the audience was totally overwhelming. my breath caught n i perspired n froze at the same time. yea, talk abt contradiction.
2. hello, my frens! i noe u guys meant well but u all killed me when u started screaming. i think i buried myself a million times over on the spot.
3. i think i danced like some spasticated monkey.
4. i had a bloated tummy!! eww.

`lose urself in the music the moment the one chance u've got
nv let it go. u've got one shot do not miss ur chance to blow this oppotunity comes once in a lifetime yo.

anw. asked jane to tape the thing but i dun think she rmbed. im not being biased.
aud n ver were, as usual, gr8.

god. can u please take me already? im more than willing to leave.
-walks out the door-

one last word.
pain.
i need it. now.

pleasepleaseplease

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Nephrite at 8:57:00 PM

pleasepleaseplease let my tummy not be bloated tml.
egad!
plsplspls.

im jus dropping a quickie.

hellohello.
even people who dun noe us well can tell.
i dun like conflict either u noe.
i shall just ignore it.
u both not saying anything meant it was all fine.
at least i noe tt i wasn't imagining things.
since im the only one who thinks tt way.
or seem to anw.
ppl can see, even if i dun tell and its not me.
there's more to it than meets the eye.
i'll leave it at tt, so there.
i wont burden u.
ur method did not work.

`black black heart.
y would u offer more?
y would u make it easier, on me, to satisfy?
i'm on fire.'

but i think im past caring.
if i did care, i'd feel goddamn used.
ignoring is SoO much easier.
tt is, if i can actually do it.
i think u noe me well enuf to noe its quite the opp.

tmltmltml.
argg..
school ends too late.
i cant go back to NSS.
bummer.
even if i had a choice of skipping sch, i'd be torn.
life, as always, sucks.

HAPPY FREAKIN' CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

inotstupidtoo.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Nephrite at 12:48:00 AM

heyhey.

i noe i havent blogged for sometime alr.
but i had three friggin presentations to do this week.
so busy can.
i'd rather hear the teachers drone on then hear myself speak.
arggh.

i also spent quite sometime wrapping all my lit texts in movie pin-ups n plastic.
quite proud of the turnout.
haha.

den... wednesday i had dance prac in the hall for the cny celebrations till like 7 plus.
helped leonard climb over the gate (i so wish i was a boy sometimes).

im still NOT over the orientation period but hard to believe as it is, orientation was two weeks ago.

umm. friday.
heard that johnson n nigel were coming bt din stay to watch 'em play floorball..
cux i alr planned to go study...
oh well. i'll catch 'em the coming week. so excited!!
haha
had dinner with nic.
went home.

today. i mean sat.
woke up to a mac breakfast thks to jo.
got ready to watch "I Not Stupid Too"s premiere since my mum managed to get 5 tix at a good price thanks to her ntuc link card.
haha.
tosh, jill, nic, jo n me were supposed to go but we couldnt get nic to wake up in time so dom came instead.
and the guys were in GOTH gear.
man, u shud've seen the looks on the ppls faces when they got on the friggin bus.
it was a grammy grabber.
haha.
they looked cool, i think. a bit pretty tho.
waha.
at least dome wasnt acting crazy.

the main point:
I NOT STUPID is 'cool man'!!!
haha.
ok la.
i cried like shit, laughed like shit. then cried n laughed somemore...
touching n funny.
i think the movie is better than some of the ang moh movies i've seen la.
its got alotta depth.
Spore movies r improving at a booming rate.
im in awe.
=))
went for the bLackfoot outing. i'm sorry i missed watching memoirs of a geisha with them but i alr tol jo i'd watch with her. heh. met them for the steamboat tho. funfunfun.
haha.
i still stink of smoke now tho i've alr taken a bath.
only marg, xinru,ver,jane,yuanru,shao xian, allan came.dakota n the rest ps-ed.
haha.
oh well.
jane ver n marg left first. the five of us wanted to find a place to chit chat aft haunting the arcade but couldnt decide where so we went home..
BUT I STILL HAD FUN!!!!

the bottom line:
i sO do not look forward to monday. its PE day.

need i say more?

im...bursting!1

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Nephrite at 3:27:00 PM

hey you.
i'mmm....bbursting!!
c'mon, im waiting for u to talk to be abt it
u who claims u're not an escapist or whatever chim terms u use to define yourself.
im sorry but everything u do is irritating the shit outta me.
`so am i, still waiting, for this world to stop hating.
screw u for getting pissed at me when i was just trying to point out sth to u.
ya.
screw u.
i cant wait to rant at u and see what u've got to say dammit.

i realise..

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Nephrite at 7:07:00 PM

heyhey.
haha.
update update!..

after such a long time, the group of us decided to go out.
went to 'changing appetites' with weel, MY n Jane on the 1oth.
(also Lydia's bdae, Happy bday babe!!)
fun fun.
everyone was late in meeting tho.
heh.
me jane n weel shared the seafood combo.
we tot it'd be quite little but instead it was damn filling!!
sheesh.
eileen kept asking weel how she felt abt her upcoming bday like some reporter.
haha.
hte blackout cake was really literally black.. choc choc choc.
too sweet!
haha.
got part of weels prezzie frm 'prints'.
bought socks.
and a shirt from fox women.
haha.
black. definitely WONT be wearing it for new year visiting. lol.

wednesday, 11th.
rushed to get weel's pix printed.
initially, that was supposed to be all jane.
as in, i was to do up the book n stuff while she chose n developed the pix.
but she din't, so meiyan n i had to pang seh weel to go for NYAA while we chionged to CWP.
we killed n hr while waiting for the pix...
then i rushed home n started planning how i was gonna piece it tog.
FYI, i thot of this idea since last yr end and everything worked out in my head.
but on wed i found myself panicking la!!
i ended up spending hours on it, being the kind of fussy person where everything has to be jus rite or else. idea in, idea out.
i finally completed the thing arnd 11 plus den started to try to do some hw unsuccessfully.
i was shagged!but, the baby hamsters JUST HAD to ESCAPE!
yup, all THREE of them.
and so, jo n i started hunting.
we found 'em all thanks to jo's determination.
lol.

today.
weel turned 18!!
whee!
she's legal.
hah.
poor girl's been smushed with cake... hair, face, arms.
i think her uni got some of it too.
heh.
happy birthday babe.
we bought a cake as a class to celebrate the birthdays of the june babies.
shena, ahmad, weel.
ahmad escaped the cake till MY came along.
man, he SO did NOT see wad hit 'im till it was too late.
total kodak moment.
he nv suspected the quiet innocent looking girl to smear cream on him.
lol.

i finally realised.
the best way to avoid sibling rivalry is to just excel in completely different arenas.
i've stayed out of sports so far.
i hope she'll leave my dance alone.
tho i wont b surprised if she suddenly decided she likes it.
its typical.
plus, she probably have some excuse as to y she likes it and shit.
wth.
i'll lose.
so i wont bother trying to say anything at all.
i feel like roadkill.
arggh.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Nephrite at 9:48:00 PM

.
school.
PE.
god.
im wilting.
see juniors=happy.
obviously nt over the orientation period.
heh.
somebody's back.
hello. tell me who u r la.
suspence kills.

at the moment there r a number of boys who really piss me off.
shall not name them.
one. the idiot who broke the wooden man.
two. the idiot with the huge ego.
three. the idiot who hurt my fren.
four. the idiot who used to stare.
five. the idiot who forced me to be a cynic.
six. this one i shall keep to myself.

day 4

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Nephrite at 5:09:00 PM

hey ya.

im feeling a bit down today.
hah.
i just cant help feeling that ppl dont take me seriously because i laugh tons and grin lots.
everyone just thinks im a happy-go-lucky and hasnt got a care in the world.
but the fact is, i do.
i have so many, that i resorted to laughing to keep me sane, else i'd probably be crying every week.
the harder i laugh, the better i feel, so there.
oh well. no use dwelling on this i guess.

i shall update u peeps n wad happened ytd!!
it was the 4th n Last day of orientation week.
B O O M B A N I G H T!!!
Battle of the clans for 1st place and the Golden Maple Leaf.
lol.
we had a war game involving water in the morning involving attackers, defenders and Lollipop holders. tho some ppl used soap bombs. tt spoiled some of the fun cux ppl got stinging eyes.
haha.
ogls had a game too.
blackota ogls vs walla n mico ogls.
i was a defender in line with juibian, leonard, wingx, freddie.
man, we got battered.
haha. i got trampled too. i was so shocked la. but i was ok.
haha.
funn funn.
lunched. i owe xing ru 2 bucks.
had CCA fair too.
took sweets from the modern dance booth, got henna from the indian cultural socirty booth and honeysticks from the netball booth.
heh heh.
`sweet.
took a shower.
had to forgo dinner cux i had no money.
spent my day's allowance on sweets for Brule..
but it was worth it.
tho too bad si hong, kana and david weren't there.
the other ogls took their share. haha.

at nite.
there was a video of the orientation stuff.
then the clan performances began.
roach, michelle, shawn, wilson, and 2 other gals lead the clan.
we din get to finish ours tho, it was too long.
disco nite was def. fun!!!
`dance dance.
some juniors even did some breaking.
cool.
the hall was really stuffy and the mist machine was working on overdrive.
the sweat was really unglam. heh.
but we danced anw.
at the end, edwin, amin and hanafi performed some songs...
' qing fei de yi', ' best i ever had', ' when u say nothing at all', 'hero'.
we cleaned up, left. voices all lost.
haha.
`Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you love to lead
Dance this is the way they'd look
If they knew how misery loved me

I LOVE BLACKFOOT!!

monday will really be blue.
its back to lessons.
sheesh.

day 3

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Nephrite at 7:52:00 PM

yo yo!

today is day 3 of orientation.
fun funn~
the juniors chose their subject combis..
ohoh.
and met a guy from cousin andy's school.
haha.
singapore is one small country.
anw.
had clan meeting to prep for tml's disco nite.
all the stuff our clan came up with was damn crude.
haha.

and.
got to noe more of the juniors frm other tribes n clans.
um. gladys, cheryl, eileen. david. shawn. yup. so far. and sofia! nad's sis.

war games.
we din getta play cux it started raining heavily when it was our turn.
booo.
we cheered for dakota tho, our alliance.
haha.
perhaps we'll getta play on the morrow.
i love the juniors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha.
dance dance tml.

1st day of sch.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Nephrite at 11:10:00 PM

heyhey.

today was the first day of school!
man. im shagged. metaphorically speaking.
i hardly got to talk to my year mates n more importantly, my classmates!
why>? was an assistant orientation grp leader...aka OGL
totally sucked not being able to talk to them much.
boo-hoo.

but i got ta noe the 'freshies'(tts wad mr koh calls the J1s. mean right?)
my tribe is BRULE!....of clan BLACKFOOT. our colour is GREEN!!
our cheers have bits of hokkien in it. lol. orh kah= blackfoot.lol
FYI. tribe is a small grp of 20, clan is abt 8 tribes total.
here's the peeps in my tribe. some spelling mite b wrong tho.
david. jer. hidayah. choo. scott. si hong. pei shan. fizah. jannah. wilson. sharifa. rochester. kana. yen. peter. hider. si ya. jennifer. and 1 more guy whose name i forgot. sorry!
and my fellow leader....ALLISON!!! haha.
i bet my kids wont recognise me with specs. lol.

im so tired today cux we had to cheer them up, get 'em high
so that they could get the team spirit.
i've embarrassed myself today. like nobodys business. wth lol.
screamed with my sore throat n blocked nose.
cheered for the sake of cheering.
got warpaint on my face.
got sun burnt.
skipped lunch cux i was too tired to eat.
but at the end, everything felt worthwhile.
im happy. :)

there was a chee wee look alike!
i couldnt stop double-taking.lol.
a bit embarrassing.
saw mopes today. tho we din get into the staring thing like last yr.
haha.
im also happy that there r nss ppl !!!! me ilah n lyd r abit poor thing la.
haha

games went well.
there was this 'broken telephone' game tt needed ppl to act stuff out and my grp got M. Jackson.
thank god the ppl playing were all guys.
i mean imagine the gals trying to moonwalk n grab at their crotches.
sheesh.
i heard some tribe went totally overboard for one of the games tho.
adding grass n mud n sand n whatnot den pouring tt crap on ppl is totally wrong. esp w/o warning.
other than that. today was preety gr8.
im lovin my junious already. tho i kinda miss havin the whole sch to one lvl.
haha.
more tml.
chiao!!