Me? Nephrite. aka Jade. Stone, first and foremost. Being human comes later. Nah. I'm just kidding. Film fanatic. Lit Major. Loves books (DUH). Dragon baby.
Don't watch much TV. I want to live like its the last moon rising and scream, just like no one's there. Here, I might lose all of my control. Don't blame me later if you don't wanna heed my warning.
sometimes I say things that don't come out right but its all in the heat of the moment. It's not too late for you to turn back now. In these Invisible Cities I will build by myself,
I hope you will enjoy yourself. The city will be made of green and black. There will be no bed of roses, but a crown of thorns. There will be wilted red roses and drooping stalks of violets.
There will be rainbows, but with no pots of gold. There will be more rain than sun, more tears than smiles. What? Did you think this was some kind of fairytale? Baby, wake up and smell the flowers. There are none. Where did the flowers go? I don't know.
And then you will see the world through my eyes.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Nephrite at 7:58:00 PM
daughter to father, daughter to father...- confessions of a broken heart. i'll be damned.
" sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will break my spirit"...haha. or was it 'names'?
both ways, they hurt. I've read two more books so far....
1) Serious Kiss
2) the misfits.
and. i think they rock. haha. im suddenly into coming-of-age books.
tho, i suppose, i've already "come of age"
or does that only happen AFTER we turn twenty-one?
somehow, i highly doubt that.
how can a person just up and say, " i turn twenty-one today. I've decided that im grown up"?
i mean., growth takes place over time, does it not?
people may be forty-five and are suffering from mid-life crisis but are still trying to come to terms with the fact that they are adults already and need to grow up..
i mean. everyone grows at different rates physically so why doesn't that apply to emotional and mental growth too? Like, everyone jus ASSUMES that the minute u reach a certain age u're "OLD" enuff to handle certain things.
wad abt kids who are forced to mature prematurely?
like, kids frm broken families? i bet they noe, understand and go thru tons of stuff that other ppl mite not even experience in their entire life-time!
so, it all boils down to...: how old is old enuf? i think that the truth is, nobody really knows. and ppl jus set an age so that they can feel secure abt some things. like, if a person is "of age", then that person will begin to be held responsible with things. but hello! wad if the person still aint ready? wat happens then? geez.
adults, i think, are still pretty kiddish inside. as in, i think sometimes, they deny the fact that we may b rite just so they get a teenist feeling of security, jus to noe that they do have ultimate power over ppl who are not yet "of age", which is, like, total crap in my opinion.
ok, why am i suddenly so powered up on talking abt this ?
we-LL, maybe cux i'll be considered 'grown up' soon.
but i dun feel and feel that way.
sometimes, i think i think in a way, and worry abt things that someone my age shud not be worried abt but hell, i worry and think abt 'em anyways. u can't exactly stop ur own flow of thot, now, can you?
other times, i feel like some naive, overgrown ( we all noe y) kid that seriously needs to get a grip on life, and fast. and like, i feel ignorant and insignificant sometimes. like, wad is the pt of me living anyways? there are like, billions of ppl in the world and even if i were to die, another kid will jus take my place in society and do wad i wud have been made to do. there isnt much that an average person can do to change the world, no, ENVIRONMENT, around him or her.
like duH!! i aint einstein ( im wasn't retarded when i was young den suddenly turned brilliant like him)!!this, i think, is the part where my pisces and aquarian sides are at war....one part of my character is the idealist, while the other half is a cynic. wow. talk abt major contrast.anyways. i've set a study schedule for myself that i'll probably have to delay a few days due to the preparations for open house.bleahs.a teeny weeny part of me is waiting for the patriarch to returnno, not the one as i noe nowbut the one that would say everything will be alritethe one who would fight for the safety of the one that i direly needbut obviously do not and will not havekiss kiss.
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